randomWalks

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  • Habari gani? Umoja. If you're

    Habari gani? Umoja. If you’re looking for information on Kwanzaa, you can’t go wrong with the Official Kwanzaa Website.

  • Drawing life to a close

    Drawing life to a close with a transcendentally orgasmic bang, and not a pathetic and god-forsaken whimper, can turn dying into the culmination of one's existence rather than its present messy and protracted anti-climax.
    When is it best to take crack cocaine?
  • I was surprised to see

    I was surprised to see the degree to which children's television exists to sell toys to children. When you have the attention of that many kids there's a lot of good you can do that doesn't involve the selling of products. But I always got upset when we got more press for the amount of toys that we have for sale as opposed to the educational value of the show. The one thing I was never comfortable with being the host of 'Blue's Clues' is that television in general has too much influence on children. With Blue's Clues we did everything we could to get the kids' attention, and I always felt that was a tremendous amount of responsibility. Luckily we were always so careful that our content is always good.
    I always knew the Blue's Clues dude was cool. We'll miss you Steve.
  • If a Black Santa can

    If a Black Santa can cause this much trouble (“last year there was a dark-complexioned black Santa, and most of the white families got out of line”), imagine a Black Jesus!

  • If you're planning to buy

    If you’re planning to buy a copy of Blu’s Hanging, be sure to get it from the Asian American Writers' Workshop.

  • Jack Herer for Agriculture, John

    Jack Herer for Agriculture, John Sellers for Defense, Bill Nye in Education – this cabinet has my support.

  • CMJ presents Smashing Peanuts in

    CMJ presents Smashing Peanuts in “A Billy Corgan Christmas”.

  • Among animal cases received recently

    Among animal cases received recently by the Animal Control Division of the Fairfax County Police Department:

    Fair Oaks District, Centreville Rd., 2300 block, Dec. 7. Animal control was called about a squirrel running inside a residence. When an animal control officer saw the squirrel, it jumped into an open baby grand piano. After the officer started playing the song "All I Want" by the group Toad the Wet Sprocket, the squirrel jumped out of the piano and onto curtains, damaging them. The squirrel then jumped onto the officer's head and pounced onto a couch, where the officer was able to catch it. The officer released the animal outside. Neither the squirrel nor the officer was injured.
    The rest of today's Fairfax Weekly Animal Watch isn't quite as interesting.
  • She is wearing a baby

    She is wearing a baby blue sweat shirt with tiny pink flowers. She is not wearing a coat despite the strong winter chill. She holds her own bag of gasoline, a black one, wrapping the plastic around her bleeding lips and nose. The bag swells and sinks, rising and falling. She holds it as if she were blowing up a party balloon. She giggles. She stumbles. She is 10.
    High on Gas and Out of Hope is a devastating story about gasoline addiction among Innu (native Canadian) children.
  • Hey, guy: saw your fucking

    Hey, guy: saw your fucking Jolly Green Giant tee shirt--Ralph the Fake. Thanks. With support from you guys we put The chief into the White House. Now we are going to name 3 or more Supremes and get rid of fuckin gRoe shit and kick the asshole teachers' union to hell and fuck over your social socialitic security and make this one big fucking military camp that will make imperial Rome look small potatoes...again, thanks. Without you and yours, who knows, Gore won but we still lgot in but withoutt you guys he might have really wond!
    People ask me why I do randomWalks -- I do it for the person who sent this (anonymous) email. Every post I post is for you. I love you.
  • This is fantastic! Today borrowed

    This is fantastic! Today borrowed blogs borrowed my blogjam blog about Random Walks borrowing my blog about borrowed blogs borrowing my blog from borrowed blogs! Or something. I feel giddy, and just a trifle sick.
    borrowed from blogjam
  • Every so often it's fun

    Every so often it’s fun to play Guess the Evil Dictator/Sit-Com Character as yourself and see what it comes up with. Just now I was pleased to discover that (apparently due to the birth of my son and my move out of New York) I’m a close match for Mork from Mork and Mindy.