Or how about chit chat about how lame and provincial the city you live in is...? And long comparisons with other supposedly "better" places that they visited on expensive vacations...?

On the subject (brought up in Pear's full post) of whether or not there's any point in having potentially confrontational conversations with people about their freaky middle-class values and/or icky assumptions: My partner and I are like a living, breathing illustration of that question. Steve has a tendency to mouth off about things without much concern for how people are likely to react. (If you say, "You're not going to change that person's mind," his usual reply is "But they're wrong!") Although I enjoy a good political conversation as much as the next person and am assertive about things that matter to me, I'm more reserved about tense subject matter and don't usually talk unless I think there's a pretty good chance the person will be open to what I have to say, and then I try to put things in way that will make sense to them in particular.

I feel bad about it but sometimes I end up shushing Steve when he is saying something that is really matters to him. Sometimes when I jump in with my tendency to see both sides and to look for the best way to put things it has helped keep a conversation he's having less tense. But you know what? He may be confrontational, he may even piss people off enough that they get loud and walk off or something, but then sometimes the weirdest things happen. Steve has actually been a catalyst for people changing their minds and even their lives. We were at a Monkeywrench benefit a few months ago and Steve saw a guy he used to work with--I think it was at Thundercloud Subs. Apparently they used to have political arguments a lot. This guy came up to him and thanked him for reaching out to him. Now he's a big activist doing work with Indymedia and stuff. He also ran into another ex-workmate about a year ago who had always argued with him but had since taken much of what he had to say to heart and had become really committed to this Zapatista group. Sure, Steve turns people off sometimes and he's gained a reputation with some people as an annoying guy (though they're not necessarily people you'd want to impress), but he's really made a difference in some people's lives. I have to remember that sometimes when I'm tempted to shush.

Y'all have a standing invite to "our" playground.

Just this week I saw a mom smack her toddler's hand for hitting a little girl half accidentally half on purpose, while saying "No hitting!" What a spectacular mixed message.