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* "That's why I like Utah. It's the only place in the world white guys carry my bags."
* "We brown people profile white folks, too. We stay 100 feet away for every square foot of flag they're waving."
* Whenever he flies, Alexie plays a medley of rock stars who have died in plane crashes, "because God can't be that ironic."
* "We're all afraid of sweaty little brown guys in airports. My wife makes me shave every time I fly so I'm not too swarthy."
* "The chances of anyone in this room being killed by a terrorist is infinitesimal. But the chances of you women being killed by a man you love are pretty damn good."
* "I keep hearing, 'The Dixie Chicks, they ain't what country music's about.' I'm like, 'Yeah, they write their own songs and play their own instruments.'"
* Alexie, a Roman Catholic, on the sacrament of communion: "I love the mysticism of ritual cannibalism. It's a Donner Party religion."
Alexie does the Park City hit-'n'-run